


Omake:  Archipelago

by Surefall



Category: Cable and Deadpool, Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fusion, M/M, MCU Maria Hill, MCU Nick Fury, MCU Phil Coulson, rated for language, rated for mature themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 14:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8756650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Surefall/pseuds/Surefall
Summary: These are extras and deleted scenes that did not fit within Archipelago for one reason or another.Omake 1:  Fury is the best and everyone loves to troll Scott Summers.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Omake means extra in Japanese. Its primary meaning is general and widespread. It is used as an anime and manga fandom term to mean "extra or bonus". -- Wikipedia
> 
> Taking place after Chapter 4 and removed for what I feel are obvious reasons.

Nick Fury sat in his office, twisting his chair back and forth in a slow metronome of motion, elbows on the arm rests, fingers folded in front of him as he gazed at his view screens, deep in thought.

Maria Hill stepped through the doorway, the folders in her hand held as a ready excuse, and already Fury knew what she was going to want to discuss. She shut the door and made sure it was locked before she asked, "Sir?"

"First names."

"What?"

"Summers was using Wilson's first name."

"Manipulation and dominance displays," Hill spoke with clipped tones as she set the folders down on his desk, "Exerting control over their interactions through false familiarity or imposed social hierarchy."

"If that was effective, I would have used it with Wilson already," Fury said dryly.

"If you used it, Wilson would think you were a clone, sir. Or possessed. Or something equally world ending," Hill replied with a small smile of internal amusement before returning to the previous subject. "Upside down levitation is in the same vein. Dominance and manipulation. Attempting to exert control." 

" _Attempting_ ," Fury agreed with a smirk before becoming serious again, "Whatever happened down there, Wilson won and Summers lost. Then Wilson decides that killing him isn't the right call."

Hill frowned thoughtfully, before deciding to simply say what she thought, "It didn't look like Wilson won."

"If Summers won, he wouldn't have felt the need to exert control. He'd have been arrogant or smug."

"He wouldn't have confronted you, tried to get _you_ to exert control," Hill smirked before lifting her voice into a falsetto, "'Teacher, teacher, Wade is picking on me~'"

"'You're sitting in that corner together until you work it out.'" Fury lowered his voice even deeper to take on his own role.

"'But!'"

"'Don't backtalk me, Summers.'"

"But is marriage really the right call? That's not usually our style." Hill dropped the falsetto as she asked, half amused and half disbelieving, but the wheels in her head were turning. Fury let her think it over and was rewarded when she spoke again, "This is a Barton-Romanov call."

"I don't second guess my field agents. Not even Wade goddamn Wilson," Fury agreed calmly, "Maybe he's deadly serious ... or maybe he's fucking with him, but either way ... I saw no reason not to follow his lead." He contemplated his fingers before setting his hands on the armrests. "He was never afraid of Summers. Not even for a second."

"So you think he had reason not to be. That _we_ have no reason to be afraid of Summers."

"We _aren't_ afraid of Summers."

Hill merely hummed in response, agreeing without words that Fury, and therefore SHIELD, had never seen any particular threat in Summers. The politicians who paid for their organization, however, did see a threat and Fury chose with care the hills he would let SHIELD die on when it came to challenging the source of their funds. "Even though you've married him under protest and without his consent?"

"I think Summers doth protest too much," Fury said magnanimously. "Telepathy. Telekinesis. Phenomenal cosmic power," he added with a lifted eyebrow, "If Summers didn't want it, he would have stopped it."

"But all he did was posture," Hill smiled, obviously entertained by the idea that Cable secretly wanted to be married to _Deadpool_ , "That's an awful big assumption, sir. What if Summers wanted to marry someone _else_? He has spent significant time with Thurman."

"If Summers had already made a love match, then he should have mentioned it in his objections, which he did not," Fury shook his head, "This is a political alliance. I have given my favorite field agent's hand in marriage to the head of a new state. He had better prove he's worthy of the trust I have bestowed upon him."

"Wilson is not our field agent and he's not your favorite."

"What are you talking about? He is my favorite agent _now_. In fact, you can authorize his payment for his last job. He might not have managed to kill Cable, but he has given me something much better."

"A laugh?" Hill snickered.

"More than one," Fury agreed, "and he will give me even more after I've made this call. You can stay if you want. Try to keep a straight face."

Hill lifted her eyebrows as she moved to stand behind Fury, which would place her in the field of view when he placed his call, "Who are you calling?"

"The X-men."

"Sir?"

"I have to inform Scott Summers of his good fortune of marrying his son into our family." Fury took his phone out of his breast pocket, selected the number he wanted to call, and dropped the phone into the cradle designed for it on his desk. His primary screen blinked and a phone icon displayed while it rang. 

"If you're the father of this family, sir," Hill's amusement was clear, "then who's the mother?"

"Coulson, of course," when Hill was silent, perhaps with disbelief, Fury decided to expand upon his statement, "Mothers are often the nurturing and emotionally sensitive half of the parental unit."

Hill snorted, "Coulson threatened Stark with a taser."

"He's a model of loving restraint," Fury agreed, leaning back in his chair and purposefully relaxing as the view screen cleared.

The pale blonde that answered was easily distinguished from all the other blondes of Fury's acquaintance by the the depth of her revealed cleavage. "Frost. I need to speak with Summers in regards to his son."

Emma Frost glanced over his shoulder at Hill, smiling slightly before she regally inclined her head, "One moment. Please hold."

Hill's chilly disapproval of near naked blondes must have been obvious. Fury remained impassive. 

The screen blacked for long moments before it cleared and this time it was Scott Summers who met Fury's impassive gaze. "You wanted to speak to me?"

"Yes," Fury got straight to the point, "The matter of Cable has been resolved to my satisfaction."

Less perceptive men might not have noticed the small hitch in Summers' firm stance, but Fury was not a less perceptive man. "With all due respect, Colonel Fury, I would have preferred to keep family matters inside the family. If anyone is responsible for Nathan, it's me." 

"I appreciate your willingness to take responsibility," Fury said smoothly, "However, I believe that Cable no longer has the time or inclination for world conquest now that he's married and has a family to support."

Whatever Summers had been expecting, that was not it. "What."

"I expect the union to be fruitful. At least three more grandchildren to dandle on my knee," Fury said, steepling his fingers before him. "I also expect a dowry from you for having taken my favorite field agent."

Hill muffled a cough that was actually a laugh behind her fist.

"What."

"Fifteen million should suffice."

* * *

The moment the call connected, Scott skipped straight to the point, "Fury just tried to hit me up for a dowry. He said you had gotten married." Only then did he fully take in the fact that his son was shirtless, threads of techno organic silver winding through his left side and a bite shaped bruise forming on his right shoulder. 

This ... was not a good sign.

"Is that practice still in effect?" Nathan asked innocently, unfazed by his lack of clothing as he finished taking his seat and leaned back in his chair, "Did you pay it?"

"Of course I didn't pay it!" Scott snorted, "It was a transparent ploy. You didn't get married." 

"I did get married."

"Wait, what?"

"I got married," Nathan repeated placidly before elaborating, "Fury handled the ceremony. It was brief, but memorable."

"You married Natasha?" Scott said with disbelief. "That's ... well ... that's not really surprising ... " That was his first guess on his mental list of Fury's favorite agents. Deadly, competent, red haired ... a taste for redheads unfortunately ran in the family.

Nathan cut off his thought train before it went places Scott didn't really want it to go, "Natasha? Ah, Agent Romanov. No, I didn't marry Natasha."

"He said it was his favorite ... " Scott trailed off as mottled, scarred arms draped themselves over Nathan's shoulders and an equally damaged but hairless head nuzzled into his son's neck. 

"You seem to have risen in Fury's favor, Wade," Nathan said with some amusement, lifting a hand to cup the side of Wade's head, holding him in place. 

"Something is certainly rising," Wade purred, pale corpse eyes fixed on Nathan's lap, his grin a bright slice of disturbingly perfect teeth and wicked cheer, "but I don't think it's my reputation."

Scott's brain performed a sort of stunned and disbelieving arithmetic. Wade? Scars? Irritating voice? Lack of filter? Oh no. No. However, there was only one logical conclusion that could be drawn. "You married Deadpool."

"As you see," Nathan trailed his fingers down the line of Wade's jaw and Wade's eyelids drooped in response. "If there is no more pressing news, I would like to get back to my ... what's the word?"

"Honey, you can hang my moons," Wade murmured, "in fact, you can wrap them around your -- "

"Honeymoon," Nathan said brightly, blessedly louder than how Wade ended that sentence, though the way he smirked left no doubt in Scott's mind that he knew exactly how uncomfortable he was making his father.

"Nathan," Scott started, voice tight, "this is ... _sudden_. How can you be certain you haven't been unduly influenced?"

"I raised an island out of the ocean and turned everyone pink," Nathan raised an eyebrow in open amusement, "No one is capable of making me do anything I don't want to do. As you well know." 

Scott was glad that his glasses could hide his wince at the subtle reminder that only earlier today he had been prepared to stop Nathan with force if it became necessary.

"It was sudden," Nathan continued mildly, "but it's turning into a mutually beneficial arrangement."

"Mutually beneficial sex, at least," Wade flashed a shit eating grin that was only made completely insufferable by the fact that Nathan mirrored it.

"What can you possibly see in him!?" Scott blurted, "That you'd want this to continue!" 

Nathan blinked and then replied as if it was the most obvious answer in the world, "He makes me laugh." 

A statement so surprisingly simple that it actually hurt Scott to hear it, that his son just wanted to _laugh_ , as if that alone was the most desirable quality he could find in a partner ... and he'd never found it before Wade.

"Yeah?" Wade head tilted as he stared at Nathan with open curiosity, like he was a novel creation that Wade had only just discovered, "I thought it was because you had discovered your inner fetish for freaks."

Nathan looked as though he'd been struck, obviously appalled by the observation, before his jaw set and his eyes burned with something fierce and determined, "Excuse me, father, my husband's assumptions need to be rectified."

"What? It's a perfectly reasonable -- " Nathan shut Wade up through the simple expedient of kissing him, broad hand cupping the back of his head as he sealed their lips together.

The view screen shut off.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, this was meant to be a SHIELD psycho analysis chapter mixed with them being a pack of annoying trolls ... and then somehow we ended up all serious at the end. Obviously, this didn't quite fit with where we're going in Archipelago, but it's entertaining enough to stand as it's own omake.


End file.
